your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sext me about skeletons
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
