I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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