As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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