So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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