i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
