My first STD was from a foam party
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
