when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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