i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
