the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
