He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
