I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
