Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You're breaking my sexual little heart
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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