Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
