I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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