toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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