help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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