Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
