we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
