oh god the rape fog is back!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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