..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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