I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
