I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
