is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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