I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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