nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
