nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
