I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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