she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Randomize
