You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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