I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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