I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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