champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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