If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
