i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
