I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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