she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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