I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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