the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
