Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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