I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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