My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
