It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
