Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Operation Purity has been aborted
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
