The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
