my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
