Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
