Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
