All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
two words: eviction party
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
