He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
