Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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