I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
