At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
accomplished twins. life is a go
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
