my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
